Merry Christmas Hidan!
by Kerink
Summary: Early Christmas fic. Rated for Hidan's mouth. HidaDei, oneshot


**Keri:** Early Christmas fic.

**Warnings: **A few slurs from Hidan's foul mouth, one sided HidaDei and hints of SasoDei

**Disclaimers: **Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto

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The only thing he didn't like about his religion was that it prevented him in taking part in the holiday fun. He sighed sadly as he sat on his blood-stained bed, staring at the blood-stained wall before his eyes fell to the blood-stained floor. Blood, blood, blood. All his sins splattered over his room. Even reaching parts of Kakuzu's side, much to the other's chagrin. But it felt good to know he'd go to heaven if and when he would die. But sometimes, he just wanted to feel like he was part of the family.

Pein insisted that they take a week off for the major holidays in order to bring them closer together – even if they were only coworkers. They would not wear their uniforms, they would not wear their headbands, and they would treat each other as siblings and Pein and Konan as mother and father. He wanted them to work smoothly and efficiently. He wanted there to be a bond between the partners. But no matter how hard he tried, they treated one another as possible lovers, not brothers.

Yet that fucking Jashin – he muttered a prayer for cursing his God – kept him from getting close to the one person he wanted to. The youngest man of the organization. With his long, beautiful, soft blonde hair. The bright blue of the eye not hidden by the mechanical scope. The womanly look of his face and the slight curve he had. The adorable little speech impediment that made him agree with everything, even if the rest of his statement was negatively inclined. The way that even if his hair was up he still carried an extra scrunchie, just in case. The black eye liner that stained his tan cheeks should he cry – which the young ninja seemed to do if he got hurt. The glint he got in his eyes every time something so much as caught on fire. The joy he got from something so simple as clay.

He wanted him. He wanted to touch him. To kiss him. To feel himself inside him. To tell him that he truly did care for him. Even if he was a fucking idiot. But he couldn't even keep a lingering eye on the other before Sasori would threaten him, skillfully hiding it in a random comment. Deidara was the puppeteer's toy. His to control and play with. His to touch even though he could not feel. His to kiss even though he could not love. His to be inside even if they could not become one. It pained him to see Deidara be teased in such a manner.

His hands balled into fists that clutched his sheets. He could never, ever have Deidara. It was a fight between two immortals for a man that actually looked forward to his own demise. Promising to become one with his beloved art. The art he took such care in making. Skillfully using the mouths on his hands, and sometimes the one on his chest, to turn clay into sculptures and sculptures into bombs. The way the terrorist squealed in delight every time one of his birds flew, every time his monsters started to walk, and every time a fleet of clay kittens would chase Kisame around their hide out.

His musings were soon cut short as the man entered his room. "Hidan-san, un?" he took a step into the dark, a box in his hands. "Hidan-san, won't you join us, un? Kisame-kun and Kakuzu-san just brought in the Christmas tree, un. I know it'd mean a lot to everyone if you'd come out and help, un." He sat at the foot of the bed, turning to look at Hidan. His hair was in a braid over his shoulder – the work of Tobi most likely. He smiled in a sadistic way. "You should have heard Zetsu-sama, un, it was so funny. He's crying now, un, saying we killed his sixteenth grandma eight times removed." He laughed gently. When only a smile was returned he continued. "Anyways, I brought you some chocolate covered cherries, if you want them, un." He held out the red box for the zealot before he stood. "I know you don't celebrate Christmas, but you could at least come out and watch, un. And later tonight we're gonna go nock off all the heads of the snow men in the village, un! Even Ita-Ita-kun is coming, un! It'll be fun, Hidan-san, un…" He gave Hidan a small, pleading smile before he turned and left, yelling at Itachi to not get drunk off his ass from egg-nog like he did last year. Oh man. Who knew the sharingun could do _that_.

Hidan looked at the box he had been given. After a moment or two, he opened it, looking at the two packages stacked one on top of another. Lined with two rows of the candies each. He pulled off the protective rap and picked one up. He stared at the chocolate gum-drop the size of his eye, he nibbled off the top, the white goo inside leaking out. He licked it up before taking the artificial cherry into his mouth. He drank the last of the goo before placing the rest of the chocolate into him mouth. He sighed and set it on his side-table dresser.

How could he deny the invitation. How could he resist the allure of a possibility of watching Deidara eat one of those cherries, licking up the white goop in such a sexual way. He shuddered with pleasure before shaking his head. Deidara was another man, that much he knew. Jashin forbid a man from sleeping with another man. Hidan hung his head. The only thing his Jashin and Jesus had in common. The religions were out to get him. He kicked his legs off of the bed, slowly standing before making his way to the living room. Watching from around a corner.

Zetsu was sobbing behind one of the couches, Pein comforting him. Konan sat on another, making paper reindeer that Tobi was busy sticking in the tree. Some of their legs moved as though they were running, and others would duck their heads up and down as if they were eating. Itachi sat next to her, reading his _Kiss Kiss Paradise_ book, the star that would go on top was next to him. Kakuzu and Sasori were fighting to get the lights on around Tobi's paper while Deidara placed ornaments all over it. Kisame was laying on yet another couch, a glass of egg-nog in his hand. More than likely one he had taken from Itachi, for every so often the Uchiha would glance at it.

Hidan watched from his hiding spot as Deidara would bend down to pick up one of the many 'dead Sasuke' or 'king-Pein' or 'Orochimaru rocks' ornaments. The latter having been mass produced one day while the snake-nin had been overly bored and he had left them as reminders of his awesomeness when he left.

Deidara, he supposed, could feel the eyes on his rump for he turned around. "Hidan-san!" he squealed in delight before glomping the man. "You came to help, un!"

Hidan smiled sadly as almost everyone looked at him with a smile. Itachi only glanced for a second and Zetsu didn't stop his sobbing. "Yeah, yeah. Gimmie some of that 'nog!" he would have to stab himself many times later that day to make up for his festivities. But the smile on Deidara's lips was worth it by-far.


End file.
